One Day Alice Came To a Fork In the Road

Obviously in a reflective mood today (Father's Day), I decided to go to the place I store the pictures, letters and mementos that I treasure most from my father, who passed in 1999. I thumb through them maybe once or twice a year. It seems that every time I do, something he's written to me, even though written years or even decades ago, strikes me with a newness almost mystically as if he knew something written in them is something I needed to hear now, some pearl of wisdom applicable to my current circumstances, even.

My dad wrote this one to me (there are several) when I was 17 years old, in Buena Vista, Colorado, for the summer of 1995. I had just finished my junior year of high school and was preparing to be a senior. He had such a way with words, using them to encourage and spur on in me what he saw that, especially at that time, I couldn't as I was stabbing in the dark out of adolescence and into adulthood. Reading this 15 years later, I find wisdom and guidance, even, in his words. Little did I know reading this then, that in less than four years, he'd be gone. I am ever-grateful that I have these letters. And seriously, how cool is my dad for quoting Alice In Wonderland? (See below).

June 26, 1995

Dear Elizabeth,

You've only been gone a few days and the house seems eerily quiet, your whole side of the house (your room) ... no stereo, no typewriter hum, no telephone conversations. I really and Mom really miss you! We hope you're doing well.

... After a paragraph encouraging me, almost charging me, even, to enjoy my summer experience to the fullest, which in a few weeks was soon coming to an end, he wrote:

As you have these next few weeks to reflect, I hope you'll remember the words of Harry Emerson Fosdick: "No horse gets anywhere until he is harnessed. No life ever grows until it is focused, dedicated, disciplined."

Realize that life is a "journey" - not a "destination." Firstly, be patient with yourself as you grow into full womanhood. Some things you're already good at - others you will be good at - in time. You don't have to be great at everything you attempt. Many people never develop their abilities because their first few attempts aren't successful. Just be sure you're growing in the right directions as you grow! (Well said, Dad.)

Secondly, prepare yourself by adopting and supporting the right convictions. I think of the words of Thomas Carlyle who said: "Conviction is worthless unless it is converted into conduct."

What you do (in many ways) at this point in your life is just a rehearsal for later life. Prepare yourself well because what you do becomes a habit and you practice and use lifestyles out of habit. Remember Lewis Carroll's story:

"One day Alice came to a fork in the road and saw a Cheshire cat in a tree. 'Which road do I take?' She asked. His response was a question. 'Where do you want to go?' 'I don't know,' Alice answered. 'Then,' said the cat, 'it doesn't matter.' "

One of the most underrated and overlooked aspects of your age group is the necessity (not just desirability) of preparation. By far, in my opinion, most of life's problems could be solved, minimized or handled by thorough preparation. This is true because, "When the time to perform arrives, the time to prepare is past."

You truly are a neat, clever, ever noble, person. I look at your progress with great satisfaction and humility. Whatever you are or become, it's primarily due to the decisions YOU make. Your dreams can come true if you have the courage to pursue them!

I wish you the very best that God can give you and that you deserve.

Love you to pieces!
Fadda